Moving Musings

At some point while semi-confined with the in-heat Jessica I decided to make a virtue of necessity.  At first I chaffed over not being able to go hiking, but she wasn't entirely to blame for that -- there were the ever-present trolls to think about.  I found a routine for letting Jessica into the back yard sans diaper by herself and discovered that since none of my dogs can speak they weren't yelling at me to take them hiking.  They seemed surprisingly content to stay here at home.  They could chase each other up and down the stairs, around obstacles in my study or in the living room, or they could go out back and visit the neighborhood dogs through cracks in the fences.  I took the opportunity to do some challenging reading, the Library of America edition of Henry Adams, History of the United States 1801-09 for example.  It has 1252 pages and I am on page 586.   My interest would have flagged and I would have switched to something else long before 586 if I were hiking regularly (which requires a day of rest after each hike -- my mind included).  Also, I realized in this process that if I move to Idaho which has a snow-season, I shall have periods when we can't go hiking every year.  I recalled what it felt like to be away from the weights and then when I went back to weight-lifting to discover I couldn't lift as much as before and when I tried to, strained something.  Would every year in Idaho be like this?  Oh yes there are the weights in the garage and they would fit in some equivalent location in a house in Idaho, and I can run up and down the stairs up there as well as I do here, and I can get a treadmill and put it into one of my many bedrooms, but that isn't the same as hiking and would that be good enough?  I do self-checks all the time: a new pain in one of my fingers?  Could that be caused by not hiking?  Wait a minute, I remember when Jessica rousted me out of my lounge chair and I relocated myself on the floor (she taking my place in the lounge chair) I scooted my hand across the carpet and felt a pain in the tip of my finger, sort of like a nerve-shock . . . but I never had that happen before; so could it be from not hiking? . . .  doubtful, but still . . .

I would have moved to Idaho scores of times if Larry had been up to it.  But I have this tendency to rethink everything.  Why do I really want to move to Idaho?  Better hiking?  It might not be better if the weather makes hiking unpleasant because of sloppy muddy trails.   Not having houses so close to me?  Yeah, that would be nice until I realize that the stores aren't close to me either and that I might have to drive for 30 minutes to get my groceries -- in the snow!   Whereas here, while my neighbors are close-by, they are all nice.  And while I don't have many needs that can't be taken care of by means of Amazon.com, there is the dog-groomer at Petco.  She knows Duffy by name and knows about Jessica and Ben as well.  I don't think they have a Petco in Idaho.  My daughter Caryn said vaguely that they do have dog groomers in Idaho.  Maybe so, but I'd need to find one, and then I'd need to find a handyman to replace Larry.  He plans to go up there from time to time but he would no longer be a phone-call away if my water-heater or septic tank exploded and I needed immediate help.
Then too I have been appreciating the effects of some of the things I've been doing to and in the house.  The wings inside my dryer came loose and I had to remove two of them; so I got a new dryer.  Why do this if I am going to move?  Well, I wouldn't feel right leaving the wingless dryer to the person who buys my house, but now that I have the new dryer, one of the little annoyances of living here has been eliminated: no more loose-wing rattle and no more extremely long drying times (not caused by the dryer I discovered later but by an overly long somewhat clogged vent which Larry circumvented when he installed the new dryer).  And a week ago I decided to bake a pizza and my oven didn't work.  Actually that happened a month earlier and Larry cleaned out the gas line and seemed to get it working.   After this time he said if it wasn't the gas line it was probably the electronics.  If it were him he would have someone do a check and if the stove could be fixed for under $200 he would have it fixed.  If it cost more than that he would buy a new one.  But I chose to skip the checking part and go directly to a new stove which will be delivered Dec 14.  The old one will be taken away and a new gas line installed.  It is a much better stove than the one I have, not top of the line, but a much better built than mine.  Also, mine is still a bit cruddy in the bottom from all the broiling I did while Susan was sick.  She needed a lot of protein so I broiled steaks for her in the oven.  I would eat steaks as well, but haven't had one since she died -- steaks aren't my favorite thing anyway.  I do like to bake salmon, but I do that on a pan and grease doesn't drip into the oven. 


One might think that getting rid of books is a simple affair, Larry certainly does, but I don't plan to stop reading once I move to Idaho, and if I don't move I certainly don't plan to give up reading as well as moving, but I've come around to finding a positive element in my library deprivations.  In the past I might have thought that if I might need a book in the future I'd better keep it, but now I think the opposite, if I can't think of a reason for needing it now I put it in a box destined for the Salvation Army.  If something changes in the future, I can buy a new copy from Amazon.com or ebay.  I must have thus far sent about 50 boxes of books to the Salvation Army and I'm not done, but I've been making a few book-purchases as well.

I discovered that I wasn't just getting rid of books, I was honing my library.  I've learned to appreciate The Library of America, for example, and have made some purchases just because the price of a used book was low and (for example) I had never heard of Dawn Powell and if the LOA thought she was worth publishing maybe I should read one or two of her novels -- on a rainy or snowy day in Idaho, or just any day here in San Jacinto where it doesn't snow.  Here are the first two paragraphs from the first novel, Dance Night, I looked at,
    "What Morry heard above the Lamptown night noises was a woman's high voice rocking on mandolin notes far far away.  This was like no music Morry had ever known, it was a song someone else remembered, perhaps his mother when he was only a sensation in her blood, a slight quickening when she met Charles Abbott, a mere wish for love racing through her veins.   

    "The song bewildered Morry reading Jules Verne by gaslight, it unspiralled somewhere high above the Bon Ton Hat Shop, above Bauer's Chop House, over the Casino, and over Bill Delaney's Saloon and Billiard Parlor.  It came from none of these places but from other worlds and then faded into a factory whistle, a fire engine bell, and a Salivation Army chorus down on Market Street."

The hair went up on the back of my neck.  This was as good a beginning as any I could recall -- made me think of The Return of the Native.


And then there were all those theological books.  I decided that what I wanted to keep were the most scholarly of the lot.  Susan liked devotional books, but that sort of thing always struck as being similar to the chanting, dancing, and singing around the campfire to the accompaniment of mantras.  Reading or chanting something over and over will reinforce something in your mind, or put you at peace, (chanting "OM" has a very good record, for example), but I'm not interested in that.  I do however like the literary research involved in making sense of difficult passages, finding out as much as possible of the true sense of the various texts of the Bible.  In going through my Anchor Bible set I discovered that Anchor Bible has been taken over by Yale:  http://yalebooks.com/anchor-yale-bible-series  I discovered as well that a new commentary on Revelation had been published and ordered it:  https://www.amazon.com/Revelation-Translation-Introduction-Commentary-Commentaries/dp/0300216912/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1480870329&sr=1-1&keywords=anchor+bible+revelation  Hardcover of course purchased $73.00 from Wordery USA.    I also purchased Mark 8-16 for $59.00, and Hebrews for $40.00

I have almost all of the Anchor Bible and the "Word" set which is the set used at Westminster Seminary.  The International Critical Commentary has been one of the most prestigious sets existing over the years.  Their recent publications have been priced similarly to the pricing of the Anchor Bible, but I've balked at spending $100 just to fill in my collection.  I have an interest Revelation in the Anchor Bible Series, but would only buy the more expensive editions of the ICC if I were actually studying something at the time.  If the price for missing volumes drops below $20 at some future time I may decided to fill in my collection -- a bit. 

[When Susan and I had just started going together back in the mid 70s, she told me that her dream was to have a husband who would spend the rest of his life studying the Bible with her.  I told her, "I could do that."  And I could and did.  But there came a time when, due to her diseases, her ability to study tapered off.  Mine never did and I recall my first guilty pleasure at discovering copies of the ICC at a Christian Book Store near the McDonnell Douglas plant where I worked at the time.  The book store didn't realize what the ICC was, but once they did they lowered the prices of the books to get rid of them.  I bought all they had just as shortly after Susan and I were married I bought a library of Reformed books.  "Studying the Bible" didn't mean for Susan nor to many in the Reformed camp the studying of such matters as the ICC and Anchor Bible dealt with.  To be able to adhere completely to the Westminster Confession was for them a good thing.  I couldn't conceive of knowledge having been frozen in time in 1647.  Neither could many I spoke to from the Westminster Seminary, but I wasn't looking for arguments and so kept these matters to myself, studying one thing or another and appreciating having the best scholarship.  And while I haven't engaged in such studies since Susan needed so much attention, I can see myself wanting to study various matters in the future.  Having a better understanding of Revelation is high on my list.  I studied that in the past in the light of the three major views, Amillennial, Postmillennial, and Premillennial.  The scholar who wrote of the Anchor Bible Revelation probably isn't going to take a stand on these positions but he is going to provide the best scholarship pertaining to the literary tools available to the original author.]


If I stay in San Jacinto I will probably get more reading and writing done than if I move to Idaho, at least for a few years, and I hear tell that older people lose a bit of their capability in those regards as time goes on. 
  

I'm having Larry replace the tile in my two upstairs bathrooms.  It is worn and faded.  Larry has done this sort of thing before and knows what he has to do and how long it will take.  Yeah, it will enhance the desirability of my house a bit if I sell it, but I'm also interested in enhancing it if I don't.   And if I don't I expect to continue on with improvements.  The freezer I have in the garage develops frost much too quickly.  The seal is leaking a bit.  I saw a new freezer at Home Depot for $800.  I didn't buy it.  I don't need to do everything at once. 

I am presently leaning toward staying in San Jacinto, but if in a few months the housing market in my area improved and I could get a bit more for my house, my attitude could change

Status of plans to move to Sandpoint

From a letter to a friend:

    I recently read a review of The Coldest Winter and obtained a copy from Amazon in "very good" or "like new" condition.  I've read a couple of accounts in the past of the Korean War and while they covered it well enough I suppose, they treated the part before I got there,  and I had pretty much read all that in newspapers before I enlisted in July 1952.  Chances are Halberstam's going to do the same thing.  My part wouldn't be all that interesting to an historian.  I was in what today would be termed an intelligence outfit in K8 (Kunsan).  One of my early jobs was to drive a Jeep to the nearby Air Force Base, pick up the "Secret" bombing instructions and take them back to my unit.  Korea was split up into K numbers in terms of radar responsibility and the Marine Corps had K8 and K30, maybe something else but that's all I remember.  I was at K30 (Cheju Island) when the truce was signed and North Korean soldiers had just been released from a prison there,  and while this doesn't make sense to me now, we were told they had to make their way back to North Korea on their own, but not everyone wanted to go so there were groups of them up Cheju Mountain and we could see their camp fires.  We were told that some American soldiers went up the mountain to go hunting, were killed and stripped of their clothing -- probably just boogeyman stories to keep us from wandering too far from base.  There were only 30 of us on K-30 which was an early-warning station.  Our "commanding officer" was a captain who stayed in his room doing a lot of drinking.  I came away with stories, but not the sort an historian would be interested in.  While I was at K8 or K30 (I don't remember) I received a "blanket" promotion to corporal.  We were told that we who were thus promoted shouldn't think highly of ourselves, the Marine Corps had found that too many corporals had been recently killed and so needed to promote a certain number of PFCs (serving in Korea and not back in the states) to Corporal.

Fast forwarding to 2016 in San Jacinto I have been weeding out books I'll probably never read or read again and sending them to Salvation Army.  At the same time, since I've been reading review after review from old copies of the NYROB (New York Review of Books), I've been encountering a number of books I imagine I'd like to curl up with on a cold Idaho winter night.   I don't recall what I paid for this one, but probably not much.  For reasons I don't understand, libraries are in the habit of getting rid of books after a couple of years and so for example this one sold for $17.95 new when it was first published in 2007, but a person can go to Amazon and buy a "good" copy for one cent plus shipping or $1.98 (plus shipping) in "near new" condition.  I don't recall what I paid but my copy looks "near new."  It is marked "Property of DeVry University, 81 Route 4 Paramus, NJ 07652."  It doesn't look as though anyone ever read it.

On occasion, I've checked the Amazon price of books I have and want to keep but are so beat up that I've ordered replacement copies.  When they arrive, if they are as advertised I put my old copy in a box destined for the Salvation Army.  I am very mindful of the parable about the rich man who built a lot of new barns and said to himself, "now I will take my ease and enjoy myself" (or something like that) which was followed by God saying "thou fool, thy soul will be required of thee this very evening."  With my dogs, the new animals I may get (a llama and perhaps some goats and chickens) as well as maintaining whatever property I buy which may not be in "near new" condition, I do not expect to "take my ease."  I have one daughter living in Sandpoint and another that wants to move back and may live with me for a longer or shorter period.  Her husband was killed in a logging accident leaving her with three kids, all of whom are grown now.  Her two sons have families of their own.   She has been staying with her daughter and two grandchildren, but this recently divorced daughter is apparently thinking of getting remarried; so Jana (now 54 years old) may very well want to live with me.   I was checking real estate listings in Sandpoint and saw one for $220,000 on 3.5 acres.  The main house built in 2007 is 1800 square feet but it has a nearby "manufactured home" built in the 1970s with one bathroom and two bedrooms nearby.  If I were ready to buy right now this property would work.  I could live in the house and my daughter could live in the manufactured home.  The alternative would be to get something larger and there are plenty of those up there, 2500 to 3500 square feet.

So I don't expect to be "taking my ease," but that parable could apply to someone having an incorrect view of his health.  In my case none of my recent health checks have disclosed any problems.  I recall when talking to Susan in the past about the likelihood of my outliving her she would say I shouldn't be so sure.  I might have some ailment I wasn't aware of that didn't show up in any tests which would kill me and she might outlive me.  Well, that didn't happen, but I think about that from time to time.  Assuming I'll live another ten or fifteen years is a bit like the unwarranted optimism of the rich farmer intending to take his ease. 

Ray Monk on Russell Volume II

In the May 17, 2001 issue of the NYROB is a review of Ray Monk's Bertrand Russell: The Ghost of Madness 1921-1970.  Years ago I read Monk's biography on Wittgenstein and enjoyed it; so I was tempted by Monk's book on Russell -- until I got into the review:  Monk's first volume on Russell ends in 1921.  "Monk describes how Wittgenstein totally and finally destroyed Russell's confidence in his philosophical program, and in effect expelled him from his own Garden of Eden, which was mathematics and the philosophy of mathematics.  Wittgenstein had argued that there could be no complete foundation for human knowledge, whether in mathematics or in other domains."

I bought a used copy of Volume one, partly because I like Monk, but decided to pass on Volume II (even though a used "acceptable" copy is available for 96 cents from Amazon  The reviewer, Stuart Hampshire, writes "Monk's disillusionment and disgust pervade the last three hundred pages of the book, and many readers will feel that the long account of all the legal squabbles within the family is wearisome and excessive.  Russell knew that he had totally failed as a parent when John became estranged and finally went mad, and when his second son . . . was forbidden by his mother to speak to him after a divorce.  In Monk's family history the final horror came when Russell's granddaughter, Lucy, who was first loved and then neglected by him, burned herself alive after recording in detail the stages of her despair."

"D. H. Lawrence had told Russell that he was consumed by hatred and contempt and only passed as a man of peace.  Lawrence wrote early in the war: 'You are really the super war spirit.  What you want is to jab and strike, like the soldier with the bayonet, only you are sublimated into words. . . .  You are simply full of repressed desires, which have become savage and anti-social. . . .  As a woman said to me, who had been to one of your meetings, "It seemed so strange, with is face looking so evil, to be talking about peace and love.  He can't have meant what he said."'"

"Lawrence again: 'It is not the hatred of falsity which inspires you.  It is the hatred of people, of flesh and blood. . . .  Why don't you own it?"

In preparation for moving to Idaho (which will probably be delayed, but even so) I've been rather ruthless in getting rid of books.  There are certain subjects and writers I expect never to return to -- for different reasons, but I haven't gotten serious about the book case that contains my library of philosophy.  I don't think there is anything in there from Russell; so this volume by Monk will be the only one but Monk will be writing about Wittgenstein in it which I shall be more interested in, probably, than anything he has to say about Russell.  I'll keep the volumes I have by and about Wittgenstein.  After spending time with him I ended up with a view of his (or of my own developed after reading him) I am comfortable with: there is the truth of the Tractatus, but there is also a realm that one must pull a ladder up to -- if one chooses to do so.  In my case I choose it.  I'm not sure I could ever again associate myself with a branch of organized Christianity, but neither could I follow any particular philosopher.   The philosophers  I like best weren't looking for followers.  I make take with me to Idaho, Wittgenstein, Gadamer, Kierkegaard, Nietzsche (because of the poetry), Plato, and several that have written about philosophers like Hayden White, Joel Weinsheimer, and Ray Monk.

My Irish Terrier, Jessica, chewed up a volume by Spinoza: good girl!

I've gotten rid of everything on the American Civil War and the "War on Terror."  As to the latter which I was quite worked up about for a time, I'm reminded of the Cold War while I was working for McDonnell Douglas: there were critics writing that the Military and the industries supporting them were building up the formidability of the USSR unrealistically in order to get congress to approve weapons purchases.  Yeah the USSR was out there and they were doing mischief but historians have looked back at them and now know that they weren't as tough as they and we (in the military-industrial complex) argued.  At the present time our military-industrial complex does not seem to be so much after the sorts of weapons they were looking for when I worked for MDC and Boeing.  Now it is technological sophistication, better and more sophisticated spying equipment and drones.  But will Iran or a paramilitary group like ISIS every invade the US?  No.  If I were still working for Boeing I might be working on RFPs (Requests for Proposals) asking us to bid on electronic devices used for spying on terrorist organizations, and drones for bombing them.  I'd probably enjoy working on the proposals, but I'm not interested in that sort of thing now, in retirement, as I am in training my new pup (now 6 months old) and thinking about Idaho.

Idaho though isn't thinking of me quite yet.  My son will be undergoing an operation which will delay the move -- give me a bit more time to work on maturing Jessica, weed out books, kitchen utensils, silk plants (Susan liked them, I didn't), etc.

Idaho occluded

    Even if as today the way north
    Is impeded leaving me fretting
    Over a broken dryer and choked
    Stove; even if the horizon has
    Dwindled, sliding me backward and
    Sapping my will; and even if Pound
    Once left Idaho with more force

    Than I have used getting there;  
    It will be hot again today,
    Jessica will be five months
    Old and the heat will discourage
    Idlers from living on the river,
    Cause rabbits to hide and coyotes
    To walk about on spindly legs.

    Mbah Gotho is living at one
    Hundred and forty five while I’ve
    Been seeking a better place to die.
    When asked his explanation, he
    Said “patience.” I’ve trouble
    Sitting still for the briefest while
    And sleep is often beyond me.

    So what if one day the
    Sky should break its reticence
    And rain?  Would all these
    Intentions be washed away,
    The mountain lake dreams,
    The moose and elk, the brown
    Bear and inquisitive wolf?

[written 5-10-16]

After Susan died (July 4th 2015) I was urged to wait at least a year before making any significant decisions, such as moving.  The year isn't quite up but I've decided to move to Sandpoint Idaho in order (among other motives) to be near two of my daughters, and two of my grandchildren.   While I've made the decision, I'm not going to have the help for the move for several months yet, possibly not until the Spring of 2017, but I have been looking at houses on Sandpoint's Century 21's web site and the properties that have the most appeal have 5 to 10 acres and are near forested areas where I can take the dogs hiking off leash – heading out for a hike without having to drive anywhere.  I initially quailed at the idea of managing the weeds on ten acres but was informed that owners of such properties have either goats or llamas (or both) for that purpose.  The only downside is that one must provide them with hay during the three months when it is too cold for weeds to grow.

Moving wasn't my first "significant" decision.  The first was to buy an Irish Terrier.  Susan would tell me I could buy whatever I liked but she always said that the Rhodesian Ridgeback was the only breed she could become attached to and I was way too indulgent to actually get an Irish Terrier until a month ago when I put my name on a list for a female which will be delivered to me in the last week of this month. I made that decision before deciding to move to Sandpoint; so I could forfeit my deposit and back out, but I have always wanted an Irish Terrier so I am going to get her.

My two daughters who live in Sandpoint and my son who lived there in the past warn of wild animals coming onto one's property.  The sort of property I'm attracted to is more likely to be visited by bear, moose, mountain lions, bob cats, coyotes, and even wolves than the closer-to-town areas they have lived in.  I am proficient with rifles and handguns so I am not worried about protecting our little pack on a hike – as long as I have enough warning which the dogs will provide.   Since Ben will be not quite six and my Irish Terrier (whom I plan to name Jessica after the Marvel super hero Jessica Jones who is small but tough) around one year old, I'm thinking that Jessica may be my first line of defense.  I'll also have Susan's six year old lap dog (23 ½ pound Duffy) who will bark a lot; so I'll have plenty of warning, but as far as a dog that will stop or confront a wild animal, I'll at least initially expect more from Jessica than Ben.  Ben is way too laid back and sociable, it seems to me, to seriously confront something like a bear.  I may be wrong and maybe Ben's size and Jessica's darting about will be enough to deter wild intruders (and maybe the wild animals will smell the dogs and stay away).  I checked the presence of wolves in Northern Idaho and it is against the law to shoot them unless they are going after farm or domestic animals. But will I be willing to rush out into the snow at night each time Duffy barks?  I may initially, but I'll hope they'll get the hang of things up there and only call me out for very good reasons (no harm in hoping even if my hope is unreasonable).

People in the Sandpoint region who have flocks of animals will get something like a Kangal to be with the sheep and protect them from such intruders, but I wouldn't want to take that step unless absolutely necessary.

Ben and Duffy have been hiking with me off leash a huge number of times.  They are used to coyotes.  Perhaps I'll have time to get Jessica used to them before we move to Sandpoint, and while there is a wolf presence there it has only been hikers thus far who have seen them.  Hunters complain about the depletion of deer and elk herds, but I didn't see any reference to wolves taking domestic animals quite yet.